: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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