Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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