Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
