Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
