I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
