She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
