"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
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