i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I think people are normalizing furries
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