? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I think i peed on brittanys purse
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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