So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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