He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
