apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize