Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
