Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
