Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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