at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
