My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
