So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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