You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
