ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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