My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize