Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
