i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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