we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
