make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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