i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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