Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize