Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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