So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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