I'm really into asian looking animals
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
