Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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