I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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