Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
