sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Woke up backwards on a recliner
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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