is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
This is not my ceiling
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize