i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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