I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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