Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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