mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
