trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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