there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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