I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
