i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
