is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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