"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I looked at my own cervix.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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