Your tits are I can't wait for
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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