Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
