I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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