Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
