Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
