but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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