Don't you send me to vm
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize