Hey man sorry I got all grabby
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
