She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
