We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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