I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
