Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize