he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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