kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
