It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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