It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize