I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
