omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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