Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
They took my balls.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
